Dating, meeting-up, and liking

In this time and age, dating has become rather ubiquitous and innovative as the traditional dine-in, formal ones have become just an option. Online dating is done. Skype has made it possible. Chats made the conversations last for a very a long time. Though this has been celebrated and embraced across latter generations, there is still that human aspect that cannot be denied. It is still different when actual conversations are set as there is a bigger picture, feel, and psychological treatment of the other. It is still different when people see other people in actuality because the human experience and encounter cannot be substituted by technology.

Thus, in online dating, the experience is rather simulated, not quite the authentic human experience. And when, the actual meet-up happens, it’s either there is a perfect, firework moment as both found each other the same and even more attractive in person, or the gaps widen between the expectation and reality because the individual has a different image of the other, and in actuality, this wasn’t exactly the same. By this time, online dating haunts society because things go off-hand. Conversations don’t settle elsewhere. There is too much beating around the bush. Anxiety arises. And there is no point of going somewhere.

So people think of ways to master the art of first time dating. Even in the not-so-distant past, when online dating was never a concept in mind, skillfully learning the manner of going through a date has been subjectively and by attempts objectively studied. But no one can perfect this because it is not learning the skill to do so, but understanding the differences and settling for whatever flows and happens. Human relationships are not meant to be controlled, predicted, and manipulated.

Here are simple concepts of liking for the understanding of whomever is going through an online-to-actual-meet-up phase:

1. Mutual liking

This is the ideal situation that everyone is hoping to have. Boy meets girl, and they just simply clicked. That’s it. This goes beyond physical attraction, which will be tackled after this. Mutual liking is simply just a matter of getting a good feel of each other without reservations whatsoever because there is just a matter of consensual and equal liking.

2. Physical Attraction liking

The guy is just good looking. The girl just looks stunning. What more is there to ask? This kind of liking is rather surfaced because what goes beyond this, in the individuals’ personality and attitude are nothing to the eye of the individual. Will this necessarily sustain whatever goes on? Yes, but eventually, this will fade as the conversations that come after the first date matter.

3. Reciprocal liking

What one gives is given back in exchange on equal proportions. This is not a matter of economic leveraging. It is a matter of feeling the compliment at first, and then, in time, after several moments of wooing of the guy, there is the complete, well-exchanged liking. This is rather progressive and time-consuming because it doesn’t happen outright. It consumes time, energy, and other pursuits.

4. Approval liking

In the psychological realm, once a person is turned down by one, and another comes in surprise, regardless of the latter’s disposition, considering he or she is likable, there will be liking to occur. There is this inkling for approval from others after a rejection. Despite the other’s not-so-attractive personality, he or she becomes likable because of this. This seem unnoticed, but it happens.

5. Similarity liking

Simply put, there are so many things that the couple shares in common. Similar interests, hobbies, jobs, ideals, principles, beliefs, and many others establish the beginning of liking. This can be a little challenging along the way because instead of moving forward and growing, both will just stay where they are because they settle for something they share so much alike.

6. Dissimilarity-compliment liking

As the exact opposite of similar liking, this type actually surpasses the notion that when there are many differences between two people, there is no way a relationship can flourish. But this has been countered because there is no absolute truth to this because despite the differences, once one compliments the other, or fills in what is lacking of the other, there is liking in the end. If both are different, but complete each other, and it makes perfect sense that differences don’t translate to failure in dating.

7. Hate-love liking

They say that getting annoyed of someone and loving him or her after strengthens the liking all the more because there seems to be a good blend of emotions, of complimenting emotions. By playing around with this, there is stability in liking because things don’t shoot up suddenly and drop right after. It’s just a matter of breaking-even in the aspect of liking.

Human interactions and relationships are meant to be experienced. If things don’t go well, then there must be a reason behind it. By actually understanding the liking and attraction phenomenon, one will get a glimpse of the dynamics that occur in any setting.


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