Life has several facets where commitments lie. But there is nothing more than a wedding that is a celebration of a lifetime commitment. I still keep wondering how it is like to stay in a relationship, which will forever eat up one’s energy, but people still opt for it for all eternity. But just to see a couple “tie that single knot” and live their lives together, who knows, forever, it’s such a phenomenal human experience. It becomes a wonder to me because first, it takes so much courage to get into an agreement, a vow, or promise; and second, it’s not necessarily for all.
What makes marriage quite difficult to fathom as attractive in its simplest form is its uncertainty. The security of living in it and reliving moments cannot be the same for the next years to come since people change. The wife or husband cannot be the same in a span of say, 7 years. Studies have shown that marriage happiness declines as years go by, and as children come in the way. And admittedly, anything can happen within that duration. But then again, people still are socially programmed to head that way.
Ironically, people choose to marry to have that crude sense of security. Life, in its abstracted and unpredictable meaning, brings anxiety. People often resort to what any human mind can surmise as the best coping mechanism there is. Often times, most resort to the religious life. Others, wander and seek for company among different people. But marriage has long been existing for the sole purpose of strengthening the grounds for a secure life. Embedded with it is the procreative meaning across cultures. But the latent meaning lies in its comforting security.
Another aspect on marriage is its compromising or sacrificial nature. One has to give up another for commitment to work. As they say, no one can cross the same river twice. And for something that gives security, but remains to be uncertain along the way, one is always willing to give up another. The question then is what is making this union readily attractive to most. It is such a wonder how a human mind works in such decision edging moment. But then, the couple still pursues such individually, un-trodden path. At this point, it is up to the couple to give its best shot of response or interpretation. In the most general sense, being in a relationship, and knowing that there is someone constant no matter what brings with it not only security, but that comforting thought of not being alone. The coupe “settles” and stays in that zone of simply being together. That brings security. What comes after is something that both the husband and wife have to work on. That uncertainty remains, but it’s going to work if there is that willingness to go after it. And it will definitely work, if both wills it. Like love, the say, it’s a decision to make and the human mind and emotions work on.
One last thought, marriage is not for everyone. Others have their own paths chosen. Some wanders and travels. There are also those who seek for knowledge, exploration, and discovery. There may also be others who seek for creativity, talent, the arts, and existential pursuits in life. Not all is made for marriage. It’s an option more than any human obligation. It never was, until the conservatives argue.
Commitment is more than a promise or vow. It’s complex. It takes process to realize. It takes time to strengthen to the ground. It is one wonderful human experience.