Bloating self

I have long learned the lesson of not taking to many commitments and responding to many “YES-es.” I have probably realized that taking a lot in my hand will never do any good. It’s either I compromise the outcome or I don’t enjoy the entire process of responding to may commitments. I often say YES to many friends. I often plant my foot onto a certain that has long been planned, right even before it was planned. Only to find out that my moods have changed, and circumstances have veered toward the other way, and I am already feeling off about things.

But I still end up responding to these commitments.

Just right before 2014 made its ways, I have tracked my first month of the same year as to what I should be doing. Though it may not be as grand as building houses for the flood-affected, or as serious as resolving human trafficking, I have somehow filled the start of the year quite a lot.

I have pledged to join a few friends from work in this random trip to a nearby beach during off-season. I have promised to make the simplest pre-wedding video for a friend who be getting married in February. I have committed to be the program host of another friend’s  wedding party. which will be in the first week of March. And I have obliged myself into working my way to graduate school. All these made me doubt if I could even launch things right at the very onset. I must also express my doubts about the direction with my new job, which entails so much responsibility. And this is what I call a lot.

I was about to say no to these things, but I didn’t because these have been my commitment. I am not saying that I always stay true to what I promise to do, but I usually stretch out myself gradually in time, as things flow on their own, and as days go by. And I don’t drown in frustration because I wasn’t able to do things. They say that there is no other way but up. There is no point going down because I have taken so many things to the very point that I just keep going up, learning, realizing, relearning, and discovering. And this discovery lets out the best in me.

I have learned that if I cannot do things the way days seem to appear, but I also learned that by taking much enough disregarding the impossibility in so many things, I become more, much more. They say that in every stressful situation, it’s either go against it or deal with it. In my case, I face it, and end up in flight, toward something I never thought I could reach.

At times, in days when things just go so tiring, unhappy, and blandly routine, I just think that I could just do more and never reside in the comforts of not doing so much.

Right now, I feel that life isn’t about ending at some point, and feeling fulfilled for getting at that certain point. It’s mainly about getting elsewhere, doing things seemingly un-doable given the circumstances, and letting go of so many worries. Everything is about living in the moment when tomorrow can be better or worth a single discovery. To fail may seem to be looming, but we end up responding to may commitments, leaving nothing undone. Life will continue to be lived and discovered with many things in one’s hand. There is no point ending.

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