Dulling Confinement

Every human being is innately discontent of the daily workings of everyday life. One cannot just stay in one place for the longest duration of time. Every individual is meant to grow, learn, expand, explore, and live. That is how one ought to live. One cannot just be in one place for the rest of his or her life.

But living has subjective auspices with it. One can just be so content in the daily routine without aspirations for the better because what is current is enough and just fine. Life is definitely relative. To live is to define what makes one happy, and if exploration and adventure would make it possible, or the simplest lifestyle of the rural setting would suffice, then so be it.


In my journey and search for my destination, I get to rumble thoughts in my mind that which I think challenge myself in how I become seemingly settled with everything while battling with my gusto to “live.” I get these thoughts, but I end up just staying comfortable and lying down. I would day-dream at most times of bigger pictures and plans, but I get timid because I am settled and doing just fine.

Recently, I have desired to escape in the most literal sense. I was opting to go somewhere far, “beachy” as it is summer. I don’t know what dawned on me. But I just felt like leaving and trekking. I wanted to breathe and exhaust myself in nature. But then again, I end up not doing anything of what I planned because I am fine and settled.

But this recent realization and drive made me think further. I have become less of myself, simply in routine of laboring to earn. I have been in the urbanite lifestyle of the metro without my own development. I thought of what I could possible do. I’ve written in my bucket-list that I would learn a foreign language, and that I would travel. And looking back at myself back in the university, I had so much spirit to go beyond my comforts. But when I started working, this had slowly died down. I even thought that my passions have been buried somewhere. I just can’t seem to relive them. And recently I have lost myself.

But one step to reality is this: I am perfectly aware that getting so cozy with my daily routine isn’t doing any good to me, at all. A friend and I have been talking about leaving and discovering. It’s just rusting and draining how working on a daily basis with such a robotic kind of job is. And as opposed to doing relatively engaging and colorful, I would rather stay at home, watch downloaded movies, read blogs, go on social media, micro-blog, and drool on other’s lives fly elsewhere. And this has turned me into somebody I wish I were not.

I have started this year with the goal of going beyond my childlike fantasies and indulgences. I have recently made a video for women’s month. I have gone on with random photography shoots. I have coerced myself into filling-in my blog every month. I have been planning trips this year. I have gone past my comforts and relived a different world in me. I hope I can sustain this. I have just recently got into graduate school, and I will be starting in a few weeks. All these are beyond my confinement in the slightest sense.

I am pursuing an explorative life until I see where I am supposed to be. But to take note, I just think living within the comforts of free lodge and accommodation, and the security of living with my extended family would make me settle and kill my passions all the more. I should LIVE in the manner I should. Happiness is not about comfort to me. It’s sweating it all out until that very destination is just along the horizons.

Photo Credit: [ http://commons.wikimedia.org, Featured photo: http://freeport.deviantart.com]


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